It is February 3, 2017, and I am a grade 12 student now. If it is possible I think I feel worse than before. I don't want to leave my home to go to university. I am afraid I will hate my program. I am afraid that I will kill myself because I will be alone. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't feel like getting out of bed. I don't feel like trying for anything because everything sucks in the end. I just want to stay in bed all day and either sleep or watch movies. Basically, anything that takes my mind away from reality.
I have to go back to school tomorrow after missing 2 days. I have to deal with explaining to Michaela why I was away. I get to deal with my mom pretending my life is sunset and daisies. I hate everything. My life is fine but I feel like my world is crashing. Nothing gives me joy. Everything causes are grief and pain. How am I supposed to live feeling like this? Well, I guess that's just it. I can't.
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